Say what now!
by CeE CrOw
Summary: This is what happens when you put me and Ker in a room with the ppl from FFX. Written for fun.. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Well hello everyone! Seeing as how I (CeE CrOwE) and Kerri (many of you may know her from stories such as Adjusting To a New Life and Operation: Pay Back) seem to have a lot of fun making up stupid scenarios about FFX characters and us… I figured we'd post some of it. She wouldn't put it up on her site, something about ruining her reputation as authoress or something.. whatever- Well, it's just supposed to be funny, not make sense, but whatever if you like it that's great

Disclaimer: This has got to be the stupidest thing in the world, of course I own FFX duh… :Kerri's standing behind me: Kerri: excuse! I don't think so:snaps fingers:

888

**Setting**: Group sitting around a fireplace, while Cee (Me!) is sitting on big chair looking cool, telling stories.

Cee:… It's one life's great mysteries, like why Auron doesn't have a right arm.

Ker:rolls her eyes: He does have a right arm, idiot. That's what he holds his sword with.. you're thinking of his left arm... or lack there of.

Auron: I have a left arm, I just like to keep it hidden away in my jacket

Cee and Kay:nod head and say in a motherly 'denial' type voice: Of course you do, honey...

Auron: No really.. here see :waves left arm at girls:

Cee:pushes Auron's left arm out of her face: Don't bother me with your black magic hocus-pocus by waving your imaginary left arm in my face, Auron!

Ker:looks behind Cee and whispers: Don't look now but that couch is coming...

Kimahri: Kimahri not couch

Cee: Right... and Auron has a left arm

Auron :smack himself in head with left arm:

Kimahri: Kimahri is angry

Ker:Pets Kimahri: Aw the fluffy couch is angry..

Kimahri: That it! Kimahri jinx you:casts jinx:

Everyone:blinks: jinx?

Kimahri:laugh evilly: Kimahri lowered your luck

Ker:Blinks before completely freaking: AHHHH I'VE BEEN JINX BY A TALKING COUCH:RUNS WHILE MADLY FLAILING ARMS IN THE AIR INTO WALL.. FALLS:

Cee:winces: That looks like it hurt...

Ker: twitch

**Few Hours Later:**

Tidus: Wow.. Ker that's horrible, man I wouldn't want someone to cast jinx on me

Ker:snuggling against Tidus: I know.. it was horrible my luck was lowered. but don't worry.. I survived

Rikku:twitching in corner: Did this jinxing involve sugar?

Ker:.. :Looks at Rikku strangely: um no...

Yuna:runs into room and stands in her 'hero pose': Hi everyone!

Ker:rolls eyes and mutters: Great... It's Yuna...

Yuna: Hi Ker:narrows eyes: Why are you and Tidus snuggling?

Ker:Get off of Tidus: Never mind that! Hey, Yuna, some kids are stuck in this dark deep cave.

Yuna:gasps: REALLY WHERE?

Ker:Smirks evilly: On the outskirts of Besaid where no one can hear you scream...

Yuna: I'm on it:Run off to outskirts of Besaid:

Wakka:watches Yuna run off: Isn't that where that big monster that kills heroes lives?

Ker:shifty eyes and speaks innocently: It is?

Wakka: But they have a sign warning you of it. She'll be fine, ya?

Ker:holds sign behind back: ... um.. yea :shifty eyes:

888

Cee: Now what I don't get is why you carry that bottle of sake on your waist…

Auron: It calms me..

Cee: Can I have some?

Auron: No!

Cee: please?

Auron: leave me alone, you stupid woman...

ACROSS TOWN

Ker: Oh:sponge bob eyes: what's this?... sa..ke? Sake? what is this:sniffs: eww smells gross... I wonder how it tastes

Auron: Sake senses tingling. I FEEL THE IMMINENT LOSS OF ALCOHOL. :turns and glares at Ker: YOU! FREEZE!

Ker:Wide-eyed: ... umm... Kimahri did it:throws bottle at Kimahri:

Auron:Runs at Ker with Masamune out:

Ker: Shit:runs away… into dark room:

HALF HOUR LATER 

Ker: Oh, Auron, I didn't know you were into that kinda thing….

Auron: Well you learn something new everyday

Everyone:outside of dark room: Oh My… :gasp:

Ker: Oh Auron, that feels sooo good….

Cee: Oh God I can't take this anymore :rushes into room and flips on light to see Auron washing Ker's hair:

Ker:pops head up: Hey guys!

Everyone: huh!

Auron:Narrows eyes: Speak one word of this and I'll kill you all!

888

Cee: So, Kimahri… you're a couch?

Kimahri:growls and sharpens spear:

:Kerri comes out of room, he hair looking like a million bucks:

Ker: Hey guys!

Group gathers in awe of her hair.

Tidus: Auron! How come my hair never looks like that!

Auron: Because… you're hair sucks. It's all nappy and dead.

Tidus:Gasp: How could you say such a thing:grabs head and curls into ball and starts to cry:

Cee: Enough Crying:sniffs air: There is an enemy a foot…

Rikku: AHHH! It's on my foot! Kill it:starts hopping around the room like crazy:

Lulu:rubs temples: Will someone do something with her?

Tidus: well.. I guess I could do something… hehe

Yuna:crawling on floor, all beat up: I … :takes deep breath: am back! I did it… saved the day once more

Ker and Tidus: Yuna!

Ker:twitch: You did it! What about the giant killer monster that was supposed to kill you?

Yuna: I took care of it…

Ker: damn it :walks away muttering: Way to waste fifteen bucks…

Rikku:still jumping around while shaking her foot madly:

Cee: WILL SOME ONE STOP THIS INCESSANT HOPPING!

**:Enters Final Fantasy IX crew:**

Some short kid who looks like he's twelve: I can help!

Everyone turns :blinks:

Lulu: who are you?

SSKWLLHT (Some short kid who looks like he's twelve): My name is Zidane! And this is Garnet and that's Beatrix, and that's :goes on to name another 9 people:

Everyone (except Rikku who is still hopping around like an idiot):snoring

Zidane: um… hello?

Cee: What! I didn't do it! I had nothing to do with the Water Gate scandal I swear! I was sleepwalking!

Zindane: We'll take care of the hopping

Cee: oh… yea sure… whatever… :starts to play poker with her imaginary friend pooka:

Everyone gathers around Cee while Zidane takes care of Rikku. After they get Rikku to stop hopping, the FFIX group goes to Cee for some pay.

Cee: DAMN IT! I LOST AGAIN :throws cards to ground narrows eyes at 'pooka': I hate you…

Tidus: Wow, Pooka can sure play Poker, think you can teach me some things?

Cee:mauls Tidus: SHE'S MY FRIEND NOT YOURS!

Zindane: um, excuse me, but can you pay us now?

Ker: Oh you want more money now? Well no, Yuna is still alive and I said I wanted her.. :looks up to see Zidane staring oddly at her: I mean.. uh… :looks around and whispers: Someone do something with them…

Kimahri: Kimahri take care of them:casts jinx:

FFIX AND FFX plus Cee and Ker:blink blink:

:crickets sound and someone coughs:

Cee:Whispers fiercely: Okay, someone kill Kimahri!

**:Seymour enters:** : 

Ker: oh great.. it's the flamboyant one….

Cee: wonderful… just flipping wonderful…'

Seymour: Guys it's hot, I'm gonna take off my shirt ok:takes off shirt:

Cee: AHHH IT BURNS:grabs fork to stab self in eye:

Ker:grabs fork: Oh no you don't I'm doing it first!

FFIX CREW: Ahhh :dies:

Cee: well… that took care of that… :looks at fork then FFIX crew: Who's hungry!

Kimahri:smile: Kimahri hungry… hungry for you, Cee

Ker:tries to stifle laughter:

Cee:turns and glares at Ker: SHOVE IT KER! Or I'll tell Auron!

Ker:pulls out butcher knife: you'll do what!

Cee:swallows hard: uh, nothing?

Auron: tell me what?

Tidus: yea tell him what?

Yuna: Oh can I know too!

Kimahri: Kerri like Auron

Wakka: Say what now!….. ya.

Ker:eye twitches: what the hell:turns and looks at Kimahri: I'LL KILL YOU:lunges at Kimahri:

Tidus: ohhh Kerri and Auron sitting in a tree

Yuna: K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Tidus: First comes

Auron:takes out Masamune and swing it at Tidus: Off Tidus' head… Then off with Yuna's!

Tidus and Yuna: AHHH:Run away from Auron:

Kimahri:holding Ker up over his head while she wildly swing her knife at him: Kimahri no like you

Ker: Die you fluffy Couch DIE!

Seymour: Ker, you like Auron?

Ker:eye twitches and slowly turns her head towards Seymour: Listen Blue boy, I'm in the middle of something….

Seymour:giggles: you like Auron… he's like old

Ker:Pushes of Kimahri and dives at Seymour: I'll kill you little boy blue!

Seymour: Eeep:starts to run:

Ker:runs over to Yuna and knocks her out: Give me your guns bitch! .. Wait… DAMN IT I DID IT WRONG :shrugs: whatever…. :starts running off Seymour again shooting at him: DIE!

Seymour: Oh my! I do believe I've angered her:jumps up to avoid being shot:

Ker: Frig this :throws gun at his head knocking him unconscious: There we go!

Tidus:Runs into Ker: …shit…

Ker:grabs him by the collar: You're next Blondie!

Rikku: I'm blond! Oh me next me next!

Auron:Yuna's slung over his shoulder: Tidus come here…

Tidus:jumps into Ker's arms: help!

Ker: help? Imma kill you!

Tidus: Whatever, just keep me away from him:points to Auron: He does bad things to me in the dark…

Ker:drops Tidus: Ah ewww Get away from me! FREAK!

Tidus:chases her: SAVE ME KERRI PLEASE!

Ker: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CEE! HELP!

Cee: what to do what to do… Oh I know! I am owner of this… I can control what everyone does including… Kerri…. :laughs evilly and breaks out laptop: **Ker:walks over to Auron**:

Ker: what the frigg is going on? Why am I walking towards… :gulps: Auron?

Cee:laughs evilly: **Ker: Auron, I love you**

Ker: Oh my God:turns and glares at Cee: I'll kill you!

Cee: No you won't **Ker:jumps into Auron's arms:**

Ker: hmm… nice arms… I mean.. wait.. DAMN IT CEE! I'LL GET REVENGE AND I'LL DO IT IN MY STORIES :LAUGHS EVILLY:

Cee: Have fun you too!

Auron:carries away Ker who is screaming obscenities at Cee:

Cee: hm… I'm bored… Ok well.. Till next time! Bye!

888

A/N: well, that was fun… hehe I added that last bit with Kerri without her knowing… I wonder how long it'll take till she notices:Here Kerri coming: Shit Ok well review if ya want me to continue I will.. and if ya wanna be in it… juss lemme know in your review and I'll see what I can do.. ok well…. Um… bye!


	2. Oh crap, they're back

A/N: Well I'm back and with the help of my trustee side kick, Ker I have updated. Though I must warn you, this isn't a good as the first chapter. Not at all…. Ok well… have fun bye!

Thanks:

Blark: lol well it was your puppy dog face that forced me to update, it was just so darn cute!

Da KeR MysTeRr: Yea well you're a jerk too so there…

Setting: Kerri is sitting in a dark corner with her knees pulled up against her chest as she rocks back and forth muttering 'bad man… very bad man…' Everyone else is gaping at Auron.

Cee: What the hell did you do to her?

Auron: I'm sorry, I couldn't help it!

Tidus: SEE HE DOES BAD THINGS TO PEOPLE IN THE DARK:walks over to Ker and places arm over her shoulder: It's ok Ker, I know what you've been through

Auron:sigh: I couldn't help it. She was just lying there, sleeping. She was just so unaware of everything and it was so easy to do it with out anyone knowing.

Ker:glares at Auron: Bad man… very bad man :continues rocking back and forth:

Auron: I didn't think she's react like this…

Lulu: That is horrible, positively horrible…

Tidus: Ker:he leans over and whispers to her: It's ok, tell us what happened…

Ker: He…he :she pointed at him: He took it!

Cee: That's sick! Auron:puts head in hands: God, what did I do!

Tidus: What did he take, Ker?

Everyone looks at Tidus as if he's an idiot not knowing what he "took."

Ker: He took… he took… MY CUPCAKE:she buried her face in her knees: It was a chocolate one, and it had sprinkles and everything!

Tidus: Oh My :gasp: Auron that is horrible!

Rikku:runs over to Ker, glomping her: It's ok, Ker… I understand what it's like to loose something like that

Ker:pushes Rikku away: Don't act like you understand my pain cause… YOU DON'T!

Cee:screams: HOLY MOTHBALLS BATMAN!

Everyone turns to her with a bored expression on.

Rikku:starts bouncing around like a maniac: What a mothball! Can I eat it?

Yuna:pushes Rikku out of the way and stand in 'heroic stance': Do not fear! Yuna is here!

Ker:Jumps up next to Yuna: But hold onto your rears! Wakka is queer!

Wakka:gasp: From whom did you hear. ……ya?

Ker: It is just oh so clear.

Auron:lifts sake jug in the air: Let's spread the word, both far and near!

Tidus: So let's celebrate with a nice cold beer!

Yuna:smacks Tidus over head: You're such a bad influence on your peer………..s

Cee:crosses arms in annoyance: What's with the rhyming its make my eyes tear. :cover mouths with hands:

Ker: Quick everyone, give Cee a group Jeer!

Lulu: this is getting old, I fear…

Ker:glares at Lulu: YOU RUINED IT! YOU REPEATED A WORD:jumps on Lulu and start bashing her over the head with a moogle:

Everyone:blinks and walks away slowly:

After Kerri was done beating Lulu she dragged her unconscious body to the living room where everyone was assembled.

Ker: Hey Guys!

Kimahri: Shut up, Kimahri tell Cee something.

Rikku, Kerri, and Tidus:squeak: CAN WE KNOW TOO!

Kimahri:sit on Rikku Kerri and Tidus:

Rikku, Kerri and Tidus: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE COUCH IS SITTING ON US.

Ker:giggles: hehe

Auron:stand over her: May I ask what is so funny?

Ker: A couch is sitting on me… and like, you are supposed to sit on a couch!

Rikku and Tidus:hysterically laughing:

Kimahri:in deep mystical voice: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away,

The room goes hazy as it does when you go into a flashback.

Ker:spazzes out: AHHHHHHHHH FLASH BACKK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tidus:wide eyed: whoaaaa Kimahri, what shit have you been sniffing this is awesome…

Ker:makes disgusted face: Speaking of shit…. Who ripped one?

Cee:looks around innocently, whistling:

Ker:glares at Cee: Oh come on. That's GA-ROSSS CEEE….

Cee:turns and points at Wakka: Well, someone, who I might mention is a queer, made chilidogs for breakfast, WAKKA!

Kimahri: Enough of this insolence. This is important :clear throat: Cee, I am your father….

Collective gasp is heard around the room.

Cee:drops to the floor and scream: NOOO I'VE BEEN SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO MY FATHER!

Lulu: You were attracted to your father?

Cee:in a calm tone: I don't know what you are talking about.

Ker:glares at Lulu: Didn't I kill you?

Lulu:drops back to floor unconscious:

Cee: But, if you are my father… who is my mother?

Kimahri: Listen carefully, and I will tell you :pops a video into the TV:

Rikku: Hey, I thought you were going to tell us a story..I want a refund!

Tidus: Movies? I love movies::Tidus pulls out big bowl of popcorn:

Kimahri: It's a video of when I first met your mother. One day when I was very young, very drunk, and very stoned, I fell in love with your mother.

The television screen shows a beautiful woman dressed up in a glittering gown escorting what seemed to be a two-headed llama into the center of the arena.

Cee: Is that woman my mom, she's beautiful.

Kimarhi: Oh Cee, how I wish it was!

Cee: Well then who is…..GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY! NOOOOO PAPA NOOOO….

Ker: Wait, I don't get it, if the beautiful woman isn't Cee's mom, then who is, the two headed llama:laughs: Yea, that's funny. Seriously now, who is it…

Kimahri and Cee:Glare at Ker:

Scary music plays :Dun dun dun:

Tidus:gasp: what a plot twister!

Ker: I'm confused…

Wakka: and I'm queer…

Auron: and I'm soooo wastedddd……

Cee: but, but… BUT WHY!

Kimahri: Well, it was love at first sight. :sighs:

Wakka: but, if it has two heads… how did you… ya know… make babies…

Tidus:smacks Wakka: Jeez Wakka! Everyone knows you have babies out of your nose!

Everyone:laughs uncomfortably as the move away from Tidus:

Lulu: Ah! Auron is humping my leg again!

Auron:looks closely at Lulu's face: Whoopsie, I'm so wasted, I thought you were Tidus…

Tidus: AURON! There are something we keep inside and other things that we share!

From the TV is heard a shout from a younger Kimahri. "Lancet Away!"

Everyone turns their attention back to the TV and watch at the two-headed llama splits into two llamas.

Yuna:blinks: so, that's what it does… :Glares at Kimahri: SO THAT WHY SIN SPLIT INTO TWO SINS! BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID LANCET MOVE! I COULD HAVE DIED!

Ker: Why must we beat around the bush and try to have other kill her? Why don't I just do it:jumps at Yuna with knife that she pulled out from under Lulu's skirt:

Kimahri:catches Ker: Not know. Kimahri need to show Cee, how she was made. :points to TV: Watch

TV goes fuzzy and fades into scene where Kimahri is completely clad in leather with a whip.

Rikku: AHH TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF!

Kimahri: No! Cee needs to know.

Porno music begins to play as the horrific scenes unfold. After that the TV goes off and everyone in the room has the same horrified look on their faces and Rikku is twitching on the floor.

Cee: so I'm a Ronsama:cries: My whole life has been a lie!

Ker: Can you breed those?

Kimahri: The is only one other Ronsama in universe. :dramatic pause that takes way to long:

Tidus:coughs: and who might that be?

Seymour:enters and runs towards Kimahri: DADDY!

Everyone stares at Seymour embracing Kimahri.

Yuna:glares at Cee: You're related to my enemy:twitches:

Room goes silent as Ker let out a forced cough and looks at her wrist.

Kimahri: You know, Ronsamas are becoming extinct. In order to keep the population thriving, you must mate.

Cee: WHAT!

Kimahri: Alright, son, make your father proud and remember. Condoms are for wimps

Seymour:looks at Cee and licks lips: Ok, if it'll make you proud, Dad…

:ENTERS INTO FIGHT SCENE CEE VS. SEYMOUR:

Cee:attempts to flee but can not: What the hell?

Tidus: hehe, Only I can flee!

Cee:looks at Rikku who is twitching on the floor: Quick, Rikku, throw a grenade.

Yuna:blinks: You want Rikku to throw a grenade at your brother?

Cee: NO AT ME:runs around the room like a maniac:

Auron:walks over ot Cee and lifts her off the ground:

Cee:sighs: Oh thank you, Auron… I owe yo… wait… WHY ARE YOU GOING TOWARD SEYMOUR!

Auron:hands Seymour Cee:

:BATTLE ENDS:

Seymour:Carries Cee into Cage:

Cee: WHAT THE HELL THIS WASN'T PART OF MY PLOT LINE.

Ker:sitting in the corner with laptop laughing like a maniac: I told you I would get my revenge!

Cee: ….shit….

Lights go off in the cage and a stuggle is heard. At first everyone is interested, but soon loose all interest and grow bored. Kerri is poking Auron, Rikku is still twitching on the floor, Lulu is unconscious again, Tidus is trying to walk through walls, Yuna is sitting on the TV watchin the couch and Kimahri is "supervising" his children.

Tidus: I have an idea, Who wants ice cream?

Ker and Auron: Me:jump up at same time, bashing their head together: owwie

Ker:rubs head and mutters: stupid head bashing cupcape stealer…

Auron:rubs head muttering: I wish I saved that cupcake for later, cause now I'm hungry again….

Everyone frolics to the ice cream store leaving Cee and Seymour in a dark cage alone.

Cee: guys? Hello?…

Seymour: Come here, my dear

Cee: AHHH RHYMING:Runs into wall, and falls to the floor unconscious:

A/N: well I hope you all liked that. Um. BTW I OWN NOTHING… BYE!


	3. Crap,they're backand not as funny

A/N: This story is a bit lacking in the department of humor, but you really can't surpass our last two chapters, well we hope you enjoy it anyway. Toodles!

888

Cee: Guess who's Back!

-Cricket chirps-

Ker- Uhm… hello? –echoes-

-Tumbleweed rolls by-

Ker: TUMBLEWEED! –chases- Come play with me, Tumbly!

Cee: uhm, Kerri?

Ker: Can't talk! Must capture, I mean… play with Tumbly! –continues to chase tumbleweed-

Cee: -smacks forehead and mutters 'idiot'- Anyway, After a long break, A LOT of therapy, and a rather large demand, WE'RE BACK!

FFX Crew: Oh dear Yevon! No!

Tumbly: -rolls off cliff-

Ker: TUMBLY NO! –jumps off cliff after-

FFX Crew: -throws mini party-

Cee: OH MY GOD, KERRI!

Ker: -flies back up, tumbly in hands- Yes? –tilts head to left-

FFX Crew: -bangs head on wall- WHYY!

Cee: uhm… right –ignores FFX people- Kerri! Tell us a story!

Ker: Uhm, ok. Well it all began when God created the world, then he created man, and of course he then created the rifle for man to fight off the dinosaurs and… the homosexuals…

Cee: Much like Wakka here –holds up rifle-

Ker: Now, Cee is going to demonstrate how to use a rifle properly when hunting one of these elusive Queers.

Cee: Watch carefully everyone. –crouches down and slowly sneak up on Wakka, disguised in a pink beret… in a hushed tone- Now you must be quiet, you do not wish to disturb the homosexual.

Wakka: -picking his nose-

Cee: Now, watch what I do. –carefully positions rifle and aims it for Wakka's head- BONSAI! –Jump out from behind rock and whacks Wakka in the back of the head repeatedly-

Ker: NO NO NO NO! YOUR FORMATION WAS ALL WRONG! Give me that! –grabs rifle- This! Is how its done –smacks Tidus upside head with the rifle-

Tidus: -eyes cross and falls to floor-

Ker: -takes swig of Sake- That's how its done!

Auron: -glares at Ker- That's my line… -searches for sake jug- AND THAT'S MY SAKE!

Ker: -eyes go wide- uhm… CEE DID IT! –Tosses sake jug at you-

Cee: -gets hit in head with sake jug, passes out-

Ker: …shit…

Auron: -glares menacingly- You, dearest Ker, are in for a whole world of hurt.

Ker: Yes, but… LOOK! A DISTRACTION! –points behind him-

Auron: What! Where! –turns around-

Ker: heh, sucker… -flees-

888

-a few hours later-

Ker: I'm bored…

Cee: Me too. Let's go on a Quest!

Yuna: what kind of quest do you need a hero?

Ker: -eye twitches- Can it be a 'Kerri kills Yuna' Quest?

Cee: KER! This is only rated PG134!

Ker: PG 134? –confused look- what?

Cee: uhm… typo? –shifty eyes-

Tidus: So, this quest! What are we going to go questing for…

Ker: -give Tidus look- is questing a word?

Tidus: In Tidus land it is…

Cee: -inches away from Tidus- YES! SO THE QUEST LETS GO!

Lulu: But, what is the quest for…

Ker: To find a way to ultimately destroy each and every one of you… -laughs evilly-

Everyone: -gives Ker look-

Ker: … did I say that outloud?

Cee: Didn't we have a discussion about using our inside voice?

Ker: -scuffs foot on ground- yes, ma'am.

Wakka: HOW MUCH LONGER TIL WE GO ON THIS QUEST! And… does it involve shopping? Because I'm sorry Tidus, but those pants so clash with that shirt. You're more of an autumn yellow, instead of this Spring blue that you are sporting.

-room goes silent-

Kimahri: It quiet… Kimahri go

Cee: -jumps on his back- I'M RIDING A COUCH!

Ker: -mutters 'you ride more than a couch…'-

Cee: what? –gives confused look-

Ker: nothing, nothing –walks away whistling innocently-

Rikku: I don't get it, what do you mean she rides more than a couch?

Lulu: I believe that's what you call a bad sexual innuendo.

Ker: Oh I'll innuendo you!

Lulu: … what?

Auron: And that is what you would call a bad come back

Ker: That's it! –mauls Auron-

-27 and a half minutes later-

Tidus: I'm bored, this quest sucks!

Rikku: -bouncing around- Yeah! There has been no fighting!

Ker: well that's all bout to change! Look! A fiend! –points to old woman-

Yuna: Ker, that's an old woman

Ker: -turns and glare- You don't call me Ker, you call me Empress Cindy Crawford

-Everyone blinks creepily at the same time-

Ker: Anyway, Look! –points to old woman again- A fiend!

Cee: Ker, she's a poor defenseless old woman. Look for god's sake she has a cane and fighting her would be cruel and unnecessary.

Ker: Don't be fooled by her clever disguise, she is obviously a fiend!

Cee: … what the hell is wrong with you? Did you forget to take your medication again?

KeR: NO MEDS FOR ME! YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME TAKE IT! NEVER! WHAHAHA!

Cee: Ker, I think you should have stayed in therapy a little bit longer…

Ker: Wow, what a coincidence, so did the doctors!

Cee: then how are you… oh… my… god…

Ker: uhm… -shifty eyes- I'll save us! –runs towards old woman-

Cee: Oh dear God….

Auron: She's seriously going to attack an old woman?

Ker: -trips over pebble- AHHH SHE'S GOT ME! SHE'S GOT ME! –spaztically rolls on ground- She's bewitched me!

Cee: -smacks forhead- Someone go help her

Seymour: I'll do it!

Cee: WHEN DID YOU GET HERE AND WHY AREN'T YOU STILL DEAD? Didn't I kill you after that _cage incident…_

Seymour: Yes… well… about that… LOOK I HAVE FLAMING HOT PANTS! –Rips off leather pants-

Cee: AHHHHH –Runs to Kerri- Are you ok?

Ker: Don't! It's too late for me! Go save yourselves! –does over dramatic acting pretending to die-

Everyone else: ok! –walks away-

Ker: -cracks an eye open- What the hell? –jumps up- WAIT FOR ME! –runs after-

-two hours into the quest-

Cee: this sucks…

Tidus: Screw this, I'm going to Tidus land!

Ker: Can I come?

Tidus: uhm.. ok… -shrugs-

Ker: Oh look I'm in Tidus land!

Tidus: Goodie Goodie gum drops, in Tidus land we don't wear clothes… see?

Ker: AHHHHHHHH ESCAPE FROM TIDUS LAND! ESCAPE! ABORT MISSION! RETREATT! RUN FLEE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

Cee: -slaps Kerri across the face- SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN!

Ker: but… but… look! –points to Tidus –

Cee: -turns and looks- oh dear… but… where's his…

Rikku: Weiner! Get your hot wieners here

Wakka: Oh I'll have one

Ker: of course you will…

Wakka: what, ya?

Ker: uhm… TIDUS IS NAKED!

Auron: What where! Oh, I, Uhm, I mean where is Tidus Naked because I want to see him…

Cee: uhm… WHAT THE HELL? IS EVERYONE FREAKIN GAY?

Ker: I'm not!

Yuna: Or are you?

Ker: -serious face- Shut the fuck up, Yuna. Stop trying to be like me, you skanky whore.

Yuna: I, uh, i… -eyes well up with tears- WAHHHH!

Cee: Oh my god, someone shoot her in the head… please… and if you miss her, at least get me!

Lulu: guys? Isn't this place remotely familiar?

Tidus: Looks around, Why it does… but I can't quite place it… maybe I should run around frantically in my naked state… -runs around frantically in his naked state-

Ker: and you people say I need medical attention…

Tidus: -runs into clothes line-

Cee: GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY! –runs over to him-

Tidus: Thank you, Cee, I'm glad someone-

Cee: -steps on Tidus' face over to clothes line- We have found what we've been questing for! –holds up leopard G-string-

Ker: Oh my, let's all marvel in its awesomeness…

All: -marvel in its awesomeness-

-fives minutes later-

Cee: I wonder who this previously belonged to…

Ker: I don't think we'll ever know…

Wakka: Well, I think I'll hold onto it… for … safe keeping… -grabs G-string and shoves it down his pants-

Auron: You know, I think I know why this is so familiar a place… it's Wakka's backyard…

Lulu: SO WE WALKED FOR HOURS JUST TO COME BACK WHERE WE STARTED?

Cee: Yes. So?

Lulu: … uhm… I don't know…

Ker: Wait… if this is Wakka's backyard, then that clothing line belongs to Wakka, and whats on the clothing line belongs to Wakka, then OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CUTE AND FUZZY! Wakka! I didn't know you had the little bunny foo foo board game!

Cee: Yeah! Wh- wait… HOLY MOLEY! THAT… THING.. THAT I WAS HOLDING… WAS… YOURS!

Wakka: No its not?

Tidus: Yeah, sure whatever you say, Sir Prance a lot…

Wakka: what's that supposed to mean?

Tidus: Thank God, Yevon, Machina… whatever, I never got the urge to pants you in public or I, and the people of the world, would have been seriously scarred for life…

Cee: Well I think we all learned a very valuable lesson today during our quest

Tidus: That we should rob from the rich and give to the poor?

Cee: … uhm… not quite…

Auron: That the code of chivalry is to always be upheld when in battle…

Cee: yeah… or no…

Lulu: That love overcomes all obstacles

Ker: HAHAHAHA

Cee: You can take that as a NO

Kimahri: That you should keep your friend close, but your enemies closer

Cee: close… but… no

Rikku: Always respect your elders

Ker: Or! Always keep a weapon at close to maul your elders is more like it –glares at grandma-

Cee: Ker, put down the knife…

Wakka: Honesty is the best policy

Ker: -mutters 'that's funny coming for the closet dweller'-

Cee: yeah… nope

Yuna: Good will always conquer evil!

Cee: Get a life, Yuna .

Ker: NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG! The life lesson we have learned today is that questing is not a word, and that Tidus Land is a very, very, very scary place!

Cee: Exactly! Now until next time, good night everyone!

888

A/N: Btw I own nothing!


End file.
